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“According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.” – Jerry Seinfeld
Does the very idea of presenting to a group of people strike terror in your heart? What is it about a group presentation that makes most people so nervous?
Most business people have no problem talking to one or two people at a time. At networking gatherings, only the shyest among us will do what I call “hovering over the hors d’oeuvres.” We tend to feel comfortable soon after engaging even complete strangers.
Add a few people to the audience and our blood pressure starts to rise. It turns out that Seinfeld was wrong; public speaking is not the number one fear, but for anyone who is nervous about presenting, the fear certainly is in the top ten.
Why are we so afraid? Usually, the anxiety goes back to childhood. Something happened, usually early in life, that made us feel judged and embarrassed, and we have carried that forward to our adult lives. When we can pinpoint that first event, we usually can work through the fear.
I know this is true for me. I was at a dance recital as an “overdeveloped” 11 year old. I won’t go into the details here, but I heard people in the audience laughing at me. I had my suspicions confirmed when one of my neighborhood friends told me, “Crystal, they were laughing at you.” I swore that I would never get up in front of a group of people again.
In school, I dreaded anytime I had to deliver a report in front of the class. In college, the panic was worse. It took a long time to work through my worry. At one point, I remember my knees actually knocking.
Once the belief about yourself takes hold, especially if it happened in childhood, you align with that belief. Your experience becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Your current experience does not cause the emotion. It is just the opposite – the feeling causes the current situation.
Think about that first event. What were your feelings at the time? Was it really the event itself that caused the fear? Or was it something that happened during the event that you now have control over? If that had not happened, would you have been embarrassed?
If you can look honestly at the root cause and understand the difference between then and now, you’ll be well on your way to overcoming your nerves.
If you need more help getting over the fear or simply want to refine your presentation skills, please join me at Presenting without Panicking. (See Lunchbox Workshop.)
The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want. – Ben Stein
If you find that you are not receiving responses to your email messages, I may have discovered one of the problems.
I recently met a man who is in charge of volunteers at a local non-profit. I had been planning to volunteer with this organization for the last few months, so this meeting presented the perfect opportunity to offer my training services. I handed him my business card and wrote on the back what I wanted to provide.
Two days later, I received an email from the volunteer director. He said he was glad to have met me and appreciated my interest in the organization. He provided some details about the volunteer opportunities with this non-profit and finished his email by saying that he looked forward to discussing my involvement.
It was obviously a canned response, and although it would have been nice to have received something that responded to my particular offering of providing training, the template aspect did not bother me. What bothered me was that there was no call-to-action. There was no “next step” for me to take. He could have said, “please contact me at your earliest convenience” or “please fill in the volunteer form on our website” or “I will call you next week to set up an appointment.” Instead I was left feeling like we would have to run into each other on the street to move this relationship forward. I wonder how many volunteers are lost because of this missing request.
I shouldn’t give this guy too hard a time. He is not alone. We all send out emails all the time without thinking about what we want to accomplish.
If you want to create email messages that get a response, the most important step you can take is to decide what you want the outcome to be when the recipient reads the email. If you don’t provide your readers with the next step, the email will sit in their in-boxes, unanswered, largely because there was no question to answer.
Look back over some of the emails you have sent. Were you clear in your purpose? Did you ask for the sale? Did you move the process forward? How could you have ended the message that would have made it easy for the recipient to take action?
If you want to learn additional ways to create messages that deliver results, come to this month’s Lunchbox Workshop.
If you are a small business owner, you know how difficult it is to get publicity in order to let your potential customers know you are available. One of the ways you can jump-start your marketing efforts is to brand yourself as an expert in your field. Help people discover that you are the one to come to when they need your type of service. Here are some suggestions to show off your abilities in your particular area of expertise:
Teach a class. Offer your topics to the community education department at your local school district. These classes usually don’t pay much to the instructor, but the exposure may be perfect for your business. The trick here is to offer some real help or information, not just market your business. One coffee shop owner offered a class on the different types of coffee drinks, providing participants with samples of espressos, lattés, Café Americanos, etc. A website design company can offer a class on search engine optimization. Find something your company does well and teach people the basics. They will come to you for the more difficult tasks.
Donate your services. No matter what your area of expertise, there is a non-profit that can benefit from your help. Provide your service free of charge in return for using the non-profit as a reference.
Provide a sample. Samples give prospective customers an idea of the quality of your work and help them see how they can benefit from your services. One desktop publisher received a newsletter from a real estate agent. She created a mock-up of a redesigned newsletter and showed it to the agent. He loved the first page, but when he turned it over the flip side was blank. She explained, with a grin, “If you want the rest, you’ll have to pay for it.” As a result, the agent became a long-term customer. Give potential clients samples of your work and let them know how to obtain more of your products or services.
Do a newsletter. Include short articles related to your area of expertise and send the newsletter out to your email or postal mailing list. If you need help writing or don’t know how to put a newsletter together, contract with a writer, desktop publisher or communication coach. Send it out once a month or once every other month. The focus needs to be on helpful information, not on selling, although highlighting current sales can be a portion of the content.
Write articles or start a blog. If you don’t want to commit to a regular newsletter, pitch your article ideas to a local newspaper or webzine. Associated Content is a great place to start. You might also want to start a blog. Again, the focus needs to be on information that is helpful to the reader, not sales copy. If you don’t have time or don’t feel comfortable writing, hire a communication coach or writer to do it for you.
Consider the time and money you spend on these activities part of your advertising budget. You’ll find they pay off in ways you never anticipated.
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