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Five Communication Resolutions

§ January 1st, 2011 § Filed under communication, small business, training, writing § Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , § 3 Comments

Communication is a skill that you can learn. It’s like riding a bicycle or typing. If you’re willing to work at it, you can rapidly improve the quality of every part of your life.  – Brian Tracy

I guess everyone who has a newsletter, blog, or newspaper column tends to write the type of article in January that I’m about to inflict on you today. It’s the dreaded resolution column. (grin) So here it is. Here are five communication resolutions I would like you to consider as you make your plans for improvement in 2011.

First, resolve to read. Find a good book and enjoy the story. Read the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal. Read blogs and newsletters, but be sure to balance with edited work. Reading good writing will help your writing skills.

Second, resolve to proofread. Read your written communication aloud before sending it into the world. I don’t expect text messages to be grammatically correct (yes, even this grammar maven has given up on text messages), but make sure you include all the words necessary to convey the intent. Leaving a word out can change the meaning completely, creating either confusion or damage on the other end.

Third, resolve to use resources that help with common writing problems. One of my favorites is the Online Writing Lab at Purdue University. This site provides help with writing, from detailed grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure issues to writing related to a job search. If you need more detailed help, including one-on-one coaching, please contact me.

Fourth, resolve to correct your common errors. If you unsure how to use its and it’s, ensure and insure, affect and effect, list these words on a pad near your computer with their meanings. See Spelling: Common Words that Sound Alike. If you can’t figure out when to use good or well or bad or badly, you may want to print out Avoiding Common Errors.

Fifth, resolve to be kinder. Remember that while you may disagree with someone, you can nearly always find areas of common interest. You never truly know what someone else is dealing with or what causes them to view the world so differently from you. Try to pause before you respond to what someone has said, especially if he or she irritates you. Find a way to phrase what you say so that it does not insult the other person. That does not mean that you have to agree with them, but understand that a phrase such as “That’s not the way I see it” is much better than “You need to consider…” We need to find a way to heal the divisions between us. Being kind in our communication is a good first step.

Happy New Year! May your communication bring you closer to your customers, clients, coworkers, friends, and family!

Growing Small Business

§ December 10th, 2010 § Filed under small business § Tagged , , , , § No Comments

For the past ten years I have had the opportunity to serve on the Bexar County Small, Minority, & Women-Owned Business Enterprise (SMWBE) Program Advisory Committee. This committee makes recommendations to Commissioners Court on issues that affect contracting and purchasing practices within the County. The focus is on finding ways to create a level playing field for small business and those businesses that are run by minorities, women, and Veterans.

Shortly before I joined, the committee had recommended and the Commissioners had agreed to hire Renee Watson as the Manager of the SMWBE Program. To those of us in the small business community (and San Antonio is primarily a small business community), Renee has been the smartest decision our County Commissioners have ever made. I’m sure there are people all over the country in government or private enterprise who understand contracting and participation of small, minority, women, and Veteran businesses, but I would hold Renee up against anyone in the nation for her knowledge. She has guided us in helping to oversee a race-neutral program since Bexar County has no set-asides or points awarded for participation by particular groups. Our committee has consistently requested that any organization that uses County funds open the purchasing process to small business. That includes County departments and organizations such as University Hospital that are funded by taxpayer dollars. That also includes companies that get large contracts from the County. Beyond that, Renee advises any company that comes to the area in how opening up their purchasing to locally-owned business will help save them money and give them positive publicity and support in the area the company serves.

There have been a number of successes that have grown out of the County’s SMWBE office including a very successful mentor-protégé program for construction companies. The AT&T Center and the J.W. Marriott have posted record percentages of purchases from small, minority, women and veteran businesses in the San Antonio area, partially due to the involvement of Renee and the committee.

One of the most helpful programs has been the Contracting Conference that is held in December each year. We just completed our tenth event. This year’s event featured 170 exhibitors, nearly all purchasing managers who were there to let small businesses know that they want to buy goods and services. The event provides the over 4000 small business owners who attend a chance to talk one-on-one to purchasers from every government agency and a number of private firms. There are workshops and briefings and the entire event is free to the attendees.

The volunteer force at this event has grown to approximately 150 people who donate two or more hours to help register and check in the attendees, provide directions and answer questions, and relieve the exhibitors when needed. There are four of us who have volunteered since the first years of this event who help guide the rest. We all believe strongly in the importance of opening up opportunities to small business.

Small businesses are indeed the engine that fuels this country, and nowhere more than in the San Antonio area. When small businesses grow, they tend to stay in the area. The owners of small businesses are from here. Their families are here. They have a commitment to the area. When businesses such as the J.W. Marriott purchase goods and services from local business, those businesses build capacity and hire more people from the area.

This week, I talked to a number of small business owners who made contacts that will likely turn into contracts. I am honored to be a part of this effort and very thankful to Commissioners Court, Renee Watson, and her team for making this possible.

LISTENING WELL

§ November 4th, 2010 § Filed under communication, marketing, small business, training § Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , § 1 Comment

“Deep listening is miraculous for both listener and speaker. When someone receives us with open-hearted, non-judging, intensely interested listening, our spirits expand.”- Sue Patton Thoele

Over the past ten months, I have written about all sorts of problems and issues in communication. This month’s topic is the most important communication skill anyone can develop – listening. In fact, I found so many quotations about listening, it was hard to choose, so I’m going to use a few.

“Everything has been said before, but since nobody listens we have to keep going back and beginning all over again.” – Andre Gide

We are a population of non-listeners. Even those who are moderately skilled at listening have to work at it. How often have you “listened” to someone while planning what your response will be? How often has your mind strayed? How often have you paid more attention to your surroundings than to the person in front of you?

Here is an exercise to increase your listening skills. The next time your spouse, child, friend or coworker starts talking, resist the temptation to interrupt. Respond with an appropriate nod or shake of your head, or murmur “Hmm” or “Oh.” Let the person complete his or her thoughts. When he or she takes a breath, look thoughtful and count to ten before responding to make sure the person is finished. If the person does not speak again in those ten seconds, carry on the conversation as usual. If the person starts to talk again, stay quiet. In the next pause, count to ten again. I know this will feel awkward at first, but try it. If the person you are talking to notices a difference, tell him or her that you are improving your listening skills.

“If you spend more time asking appropriate questions rather than giving answers or opinions, your listening skills will increase” – Brian Koslow

Listening well is a skill that can be learned. Like any other skill, improvement takes practice. Learning to ask questions that help you to understand what the speaker means will improve your listening skills, but will also help create rapport with the speaker. Your questions let the speaker know that you value what he or she has said, that you seek to understand his or her point. In doing the above “counting to ten” exercise, when the person has stopped talking, ask some clarifying questions. These questions might start with phrases like

  • “It appears as if…”
  • “You feel…”
  • “It seems like…”
  • “As I understand it, you sound…”
  • “If I hear you correctly, you’d like…”

“To listen well, is as powerful a means of influence as to talk well, and is as essential to all true conversation” – Chinese Proverbs

Creating that rapport and letting the speaker know that you are paying attention is the first step toward true communication. It is also a first step toward agreement. If you can truly understand what the other person is thinking, you may have a chance to give him or her insight into your viewpoint.

When we live in such a divided country, it is critical that we understand what others are saying. On this post-election day, I’ll leave you with this one.

“A good listener tries to understand what the other person is saying. In the end he may disagree sharply, but because he disagrees, he wants to know exactly what it is he is disagreeing with.” – Kenneth A. Wells

Try these exercises at your Thanksgiving Day table. It might make the whole day more enjoyable. Happy Thanksgiving!

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